Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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