i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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