So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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