Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
