You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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