Small penises have feelings too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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