Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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