you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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