People in love make me want to vomit
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
