i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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