Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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