i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
