party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
