shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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