singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
