DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
