i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
