you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
