This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
