Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching her eat just hurts me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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