What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
