I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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