Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize