You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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