Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
