Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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