Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
