even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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