I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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