oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
