Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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