Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
there is glitter all over my balls
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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