I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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