while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
