I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
