I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
