I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
