bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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