At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
