Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
