I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
