but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
