i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
