God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
