seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
