hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
