i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
