his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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