we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
