Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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