At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
