At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
