this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
