I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
