Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
