We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
