i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
