i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
