The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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