Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
