Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
