Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
