Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
COCAINE IS GR8
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
