what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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