I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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