No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just had sex on a roof
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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