i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
