Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
